What does the perfect mom look like to you?  Does she look like you?

It’s hard to see ourselves as being the example of “perfect.” We know that perfect doesn’t exist yet we continue to strive toward some ideal or standard that’s impossible to reach. Instead of accepting ourselves and our situations, we only focus on the flaws, always nitpicking at everything.

It’s constantly thrown in our faces that we need to be better. We see moms on social media or reality shows who look like they have it all–the perfect life, perfect children, perfect relationship–then we look around and see nothing but dirty diapers, messy floors, and pissy attitudes. It’s almost inevitable to have that icky feeling of inadequacy at some point.

Of course, the media has the answer to make you into the perfect mom. It’s pushed on you in every commercial and ad. Your kids need more stuff to be happy. Buy this. Get that. This will make them smarter. Make 15 payments of $99.99, but wait, there’s more! It can be overwhelming.

But it’s not the stuff that makes the perfect mom; it’s the quality time, the love, and the effort that you put into each moment. You’re giving your kids the best you have, and that’s all they need from you.

I want you to remember that perfect does not exist. There is no perfect parent or child on this earth. There is no perfect mother in the universe. Your ideas of being perfect or striving for the perception of perfect can make life a lot harder than it already is.

Your true self, flaws and all, is perfect for your family, and your family and their flaws are perfect for you. You are who you are, and while it’s great to strive to be your best self, there’s nothing wrong with accepting your imperfections as a unique part of who you are.

So how do you know if you’re a perfect mom? Take the quiz below!

  1. Are your children’s basic needs met?
  2. Are your kids learning?
  3. Do you recognize the need to take care of yourself?
  4. Do you keep your kids safe when you can?
  5. Do you pray for them?
  6. Do you spend quality time with them?

If you answered yes to at least three questions, congratulations you’reperfect!

There are going to be times when you feel everything is a wreck, and it’s all your fault. You may have forgotten to pick up a kid from practice or sign a permission slip. The baby’s diaper may have been on a little too long, or you can’t figure out how to calm her down. It’s okay. Those moments don’t last forever and can be forgiven. You have to learn to forgive yourself and move on.

I often feel like I don’t do enough with my daughter. Did I sing the ABCs enough today? Did I count to 5 enough times? Did we play enough? Is she going to enjoy reading, or will she only want to watch tv? Does she know her animal sounds? AM I TEACHING HER ANYTHING!?

I have to remind myself that she’s a baby, and she’s already brilliant. She’s going to grow and develop at her own pace and learn certain things when she’s ready. I can’t control that.

What I can control is myself and what experiences and activities I can expose her to. I can only do so much for her development; the rest is up to her. Her personality, and her interests as she grows up will change and require me to make changes too. Acknowledging her individuality and developing with her make me perfect–for her.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. Motherhood is a revolving door of changes, and just when you think you’ve gotten a routine down it changes again. Your kids are growing, and so are you. Embrace the change, be flexible, and be confident in the knowledge that you are the perfect mom for your family.

Based on the quiz, are you the perfect mom? You’ve had the answer the whole time. Yes! Yes because you are perfect where it matters most–in your children’s lives.

Let go of the impossible idea of the perfect mom, and start seeing yourself in a brighter light. You’re going to continue making mistakes and feeling out of control at times, but that’s all a part of the excitement of motherhood. How you handle those situations and learning from the process is what makes you THE PERFECT MOM.

How did you do on the quiz? What are impossible standards you can stop idolizing to be happy with yourself?

22 Replies to “Being the Perfect Mom”

  1. What an encouraging post! Today is my son’s birthday and I always reminisce about ” am I doing the best for my children? Am I screwing this up,” but then they do something super sweet, or give a nice hug and I think… ” Ok…I am doing ok.” Keep up the good work, Mama!

  2. Motherhood is hard! It’s so easy to compare yourself with mama jones. And the problem is that it’s easy to see A mom is a really good cook and B mom is a fab photographer and C mom dresses their kids so cute and D has the perfect house. The problem is when you try to be ABC and D and then feel like a failure in comparison! But, really, each mom excels at different thing- one may be a fantastic teacher and another an imaginative makebelieve player. Such a great piece and it really made me think. Good reminder that we’re all trying and that’s the best we can do!

  3. What a wonderful message! It’s so easy to be hard on ourselves, and I imagine that’s especially true when you’re a parent! It’s so important that we be reminded to let go of the need to be perfect and rejoice in the goodness we’ve accomplished :). I love it!

  4. Such a great post! Being a mother is the hardest most rewarding job there is, in my opinion. Sometimes we just need to give and show grace to both ourselves and fellow Moms. We’re all simply doing the best we can.

  5. Every mother needs to read this post! It’s hard being a mom and sometimes we forget to give ourselves a pat in the back!! I’ve struggled with this issue for years and your post was a great reminder to take a step back and rethink 😉

    Melissa

  6. Great Post. As a mom its so easy to get caught up in trying to be “perfect”. This post was a reminder to just take it easy as a mom sometimes.

  7. Spot on. No one is perfect, even me. I do the best i can when i can. It’s ok to allow another mom’s lifestyle to inspire you but definitely not to compare yourself or beat yourself up on it. Thanks for kind and encouraging words.

  8. I appreciate this post. I have gotten so so overwhelmed with motherhood lately and end up doubting myself constantly so this was so encouraging. Thank you!

  9. I love this! :’) Such a great post. You really broke it down in a reassuring and simple way. It’s so true. When I saw the title, I was expecting something along the lines of “you ARE a great mom, don’t worry so much”. But you were real with it, in such a pure and non-judgemental way. Love this, pinning now

  10. I passed the quiz lol but it’s hard doing it all by yourself. I wouldn’t chosen this the second time around but of course my baby is my joy and perfect fit for me and my oldest daughter but I wish things would turn around. I have fun then get sad, I smile then get depressed when it’s time to stop. I love being a mom it just sucks to be a single one again at 36.

    1. I get it. But you do a damn good job! Seriously, there are some moms who can’t “pass” the quiz so just know you’re doing something right. You have some smart kids who will appreciate all that you do once they’re older.

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