What does the perfect mom look like to you? Does she look like you?
It’s hard to see ourselves as being the example of “perfect.” We know that perfect doesn’t exist yet we continue to strive toward some ideal or standard that’s impossible to reach. Instead of accepting ourselves and our situations, we only focus on the flaws, always nitpicking at everything.
It’s constantly thrown in our faces that we need to be better. We see moms on social media or reality shows who look like they have it all–the perfect life, perfect children, perfect relationship–then we look around and see nothing but dirty diapers, messy floors, and pissy attitudes. It’s almost inevitable to have that icky feeling of inadequacy at some point.
Of course, the media has the answer to make you into the perfect mom. It’s pushed on you in every commercial and ad. Your kids need more stuff to be happy. Buy this. Get that. This will make them smarter. Make 15 payments of $99.99, but wait, there’s more! It can be overwhelming.
But it’s not the stuff that makes the perfect mom; it’s the quality time, the love, and the effort that you put into each moment. You’re giving your kids the best you have, and that’s all they need from you.
I want you to remember that perfect does not exist. There is no perfect parent or child on this earth. There is no perfect mother in the universe. Your ideas of being perfect or striving for the perception of perfect can make life a lot harder than it already is.
Your true self, flaws and all, is perfect for your family, and your family and their flaws are perfect for you. You are who you are, and while it’s great to strive to be your best self, there’s nothing wrong with accepting your imperfections as a unique part of who you are.
So how do you know if you’re a perfect mom? Take the quiz below!
- Are your children’s basic needs met?
- Are your kids learning?
- Do you recognize the need to take care of yourself?
- Do you keep your kids safe when you can?
- Do you pray for them?
- Do you spend quality time with them?
If you answered yes to at least three questions, congratulations you’reperfect!
There are going to be times when you feel everything is a wreck, and it’s all your fault. You may have forgotten to pick up a kid from practice or sign a permission slip. The baby’s diaper may have been on a little too long, or you can’t figure out how to calm her down. It’s okay. Those moments don’t last forever and can be forgiven. You have to learn to forgive yourself and move on.
I often feel like I don’t do enough with my daughter. Did I sing the ABCs enough today? Did I count to 5 enough times? Did we play enough? Is she going to enjoy reading, or will she only want to watch tv? Does she know her animal sounds? AM I TEACHING HER ANYTHING!?
I have to remind myself that she’s a baby, and she’s already brilliant. She’s going to grow and develop at her own pace and learn certain things when she’s ready. I can’t control that.
What I can control is myself and what experiences and activities I can expose her to. I can only do so much for her development; the rest is up to her. Her personality, and her interests as she grows up will change and require me to make changes too. Acknowledging her individuality and developing with her make me perfect–for her.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Motherhood is a revolving door of changes, and just when you think you’ve gotten a routine down it changes again. Your kids are growing, and so are you. Embrace the change, be flexible, and be confident in the knowledge that you are the perfect mom for your family.
Based on the quiz, are you the perfect mom? You’ve had the answer the whole time. Yes! Yes because you are perfect where it matters most–in your children’s lives.
Let go of the impossible idea of the perfect mom, and start seeing yourself in a brighter light. You’re going to continue making mistakes and feeling out of control at times, but that’s all a part of the excitement of motherhood. How you handle those situations and learning from the process is what makes you THE PERFECT MOM.
How did you do on the quiz? What are impossible standards you can stop idolizing to be happy with yourself?