Why is it so hard to simply say, “Thank you!” when someone compliments us? Especially as moms. It’s like we’re afraid to be seen in a positive light for some reason. We always dance around the response with deflecting, negative statements.
Complimenter: I love that dress.
You: Oh, this old thing?
Complimenter: You look lovely today.
You: I look frumpy in this outfit.
Complimenter: our kids were so quiet during church.
You: They are a rowdy bunch!
Complimenter: You’re necklace so pretty.
You: It’s not really my style. I was afraid to wear it.
Complimenter: Congrats on your weight loss.
You: I have so much weight to lose.
Complimenter: Your outfit is cute.
You:I just threw this on.
Complimenter: You’re such a great mom.
You: I’m a total disaster.
Any of these sound familiar? We’re so critical of ourselves, especially when we’re not used to hearing compliments. It’s something we don’t even realize we’re doing all the time. When you look in the mirror, do you smile at yourself and say something positive, or do you start nitpicking all of your flaws? You have so many positive attributes inside and out, and it’s time to appreciate them!
Sometimes I feel more self-conscious when someone compliments me because I wonder what else they’re thinking about me or what else are they paying attention to? What do they not like when they look at me? Although it’s hard, it’s time to start accepting my flaws as part of my uniqueness and be grateful for the compliments that come my way.
Here is your ultimate mom guide to accepting a compliment:
Simply say thank you. No explanation. No downplaying yourself. Someone is complimenting the effort you put into your outfit, a project, your hair, or whatever it may be. Thank them without thinking so far into it.
When someone compliments you, repeat it to yourself. “My dress looks good on me today. Thank you.” If you’re not comfortable saying it aloud, say it to yourself, internalizing it and showing appreciation for the praise.
Give honor to God
“Well praise God. I appreciate that!” We are supposed to give God honor in all things, so why not in a compliment? He made us in His image, so there’s no harm in thanking Him and acknowledging the gifts He’s given us.
Put yourself in their shoes
When you compliment someone, do you want to hear that you’re wrong? Some people take offense to their complement being shot down or disregarded. They may see it as you telling them they’re wrong or don’t have good taste. I know you don’t want to be offensive, so try to think of how they feel.
See yourself as a superstar
Because why not?! If you’re out and people say you look good, hold your head high, put on your cheesiest smile, and thank them (maybe even give a little wink if you’re feeling really sassy). You don’t have to be sheepish all the time. You can let yourself shine every now and then.
It sounds so easy but is soooo hard for many of us!
It isn’t selfish or conceded to be proud of who you are, how you look, or the progress you’ve made in your life. When negativity toward yourself has been a part of your character for so long, doing the opposite will take time.
Accepting compliments and praising yourself are major components of self-care. You don’t have to be hard on yourself or beat yourself down all the time. Practice different ways to accept them and find one that’s comfortable for you.
Do you have a hard time accepting compliments? Which technique (or techniques) do you think you’ll use?